{"id":64,"date":"2014-12-07T19:18:53","date_gmt":"2014-12-07T19:18:53","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/aztherapyhelp.cliftonbatchelor.com\/?page_id=13"},"modified":"2019-03-30T17:02:04","modified_gmt":"2019-03-31T00:02:04","slug":"couples-therapy","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/therapythatworks.net\/couples-therapy\/","title":{"rendered":"Couples Therapy"},"content":{"rendered":"

UNMET NEEDS, UNFULFILLED EXPECTATIONS
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All couples have problems of some kind. A helpful way to think about a couple relationship is to think about the interactions that create that relationship. Dan Wile<\/a>, a respected therapist, author, and lecturer in Oakland, California states: “When you choose a partner, you’re choosing a particular set of problems. And if you choose a different partner, you’re choosing a different set of problems. In essence, Wile is saying, “Choose a partner you’re willing to learn how to solve problems with.”<\/p>\n

Most couple relationship problems have their origins in unmet needs and\/or unfulfilled expectations. Arguments and\/or withdrawing from each other are symptoms that belie the couple’s unmet needs and\/or unfulfilled expectations.\u00a0 When this happens, couples feel disconnected from each other, often reporting that the spark is gone, that they argue about the same thing over and over with no resolution, or that they are living like roommates.\u00a0 For example, when in this disconnected state, she feels deprived of her needs at the same time he feels deprived of his needs. In this state of deprivation, neither is able to give what the other needs. It’s a circle with no beginning or end. The source of disconnection and disengagement is most often due to a desire for affirmation – the assurance of being valued, appreciated, cared for – that is not being fulfilled.<\/p>\n

I help couples see themselves not as individuals attached to one another, but as co-creators of their relationship. My approach to couples therapy is to help couples communicate with each other about their desire to be valued and appreciated. When partners feel valued and appreciated, they are willing to cut each other slack, to accept imperfection. When successful, couples feel understood, valued, and connected. Sameness is not a requirement for this to occur.<\/p>\n

SOME COMMON COUPLE ISSUES & PROBLEMS<\/strong><\/p>\n

The list below is not comprehensive or definitive, but do any of the following describe your couple relationship or how you feel about it:<\/p>\n