I begin therapy with the perspective that whether you are a person, a couple, or a family, you are just stuck – stuck in the gap between the way things are and the way you want them to be – and that your previous attempts to deal with your individual or relational issues and problems have not worked very well or at all. Whether being stuck is at the level of clinical diagnosis, a precursor to it, or among the typical problems of living, I take the view that you have inherent strengths and abilities to deal with and resolve the issues and problems you face, and that the symptoms you experience are the evidence that you are stuck. Because options and solutions are difficult or impossible to see when you’re stuck in the gap between the way things are and the way you want them to be, I will help you close that gap by helping you see options previously unseen, identify solutions, and learn and develop skills and techniques that you can really use to help you get unstuck. The list below identifies a number of areas where people get stuck.
GETTING UNSTUCK IS A PROCESS
As you engage the therapy process, you are my resource for clarity about your concerns. Through questions I seek to understand how you think and how the world looks to you. It is only through careful questioning and listening that I can and will help you clearly identify the issues and the problems for which you are seeking my help so that the solutions make sense. I will then partner with you to formulate a plan and help you develop skills and techniques to reduce or eliminate the distress you feel about those issues and problems. Therapy is a process to encourage self-understanding. If you choose to engage that process, you will develop more confidence in yourself, and experience an increase of hope, happiness, success, purpose, and meaning in your life. Getting unstuck occurs somewhere in that process. And you will know you are unstuck when the problems appear less distressing, more manageable, or disappear altogether.
PLACES WHERE YOU MAY BE STUCK
To help you get unstuck, I use methods and approaches that are reliably and consistently demonstrated by clinical research to be the most helpful and the most effective. Below are some of the common areas where people get stuck.
• Alcohol and/or drug use and abuse
• Anxiety and worry
• Avoiding and stuffing
• Communication – understanding and being understood
• Compulsive and excessive behaviors – most often symptoms of avoiding the real issue(s)
• Conflict with others
• Fear of adjusting/adapting to your or others’ changing needs/circumstances
• Intimacy with spouse or partner
• Relationships with others – marriage, partner, parenting, parent-child, friends, colleagues and extended family – including in-laws, siblings and adult children of older parents
• Self-esteem: lack of self-respect/self-worth, low value awareness, lack of confidence to live by your values, lack of acceptance, lack of determination and perseverance
PLEASE NOTE: There are many factors that influence both the process and the outcome of therapy. While I cannot provide you an unconditional guarantee for a specific therapy outcome, my goal in working with you is to create hope, motivation, understanding, skills and techniques so that you can close the gap between the way things are and the way you want them to be.
If you want to know more about choosing a counselor or therapist, and if I am the right therapist for you, read my blog post, How Can You Know If I Am the Right Therapist for You.